24 Aug 2006 - 9 days old

Dear friends and family

Sam is now 9 days old and doing OK considering what he’s going through.

Tuesday was his best day so far in that he was transferred from the ventilator to a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) machine and was taken off two of the drugs that sedate and maintain his blood pressure (Dormicum and Dopamine respectively). He remained on the CPAP for 24 hours but then started to get tired so had to return to the ventilator. Getting the lungs working and off the ventilator is always a big hurdle for these little ones, but crucial as the ventilator is very intrusive and can damage the underdeveloped lungs. The CPAP simply provides air to the nasal passages and he does the rest so we are really praying for a rapid return to that (and then to minimal assistance). He also continues to fight the ventilator and is generally going through a lot of discomfort so had to go back onto the sedative. I could only bear to be with him for twenty minutes last night as he struggled away against the pipes and bandages.

A further major disappointment yesterday was the news that he has a gut infection - enterocolitis. While not unexpected during this second week, it means another week long course of antibiotics and a further delay in getting his gut processing. It’s crucial to get his stomach working as this means he can be fed the breast milk that Michy has been so painstakingly pumping - breastmilk is one of the most powerful immune system boosters. It also will mean that many of the lines going into him can be removed and the drugs administered directly into his stomach. As the number of lines is reduced so the risk of infection decreases. Today he seemed pretty stable, was breathing well with very little help from the machine and had passed three meconium stools. Thankfully the nice nurses insist on changing those nappies!

The physical and emotional rollercoaster that the nurses, doctors and internet keep talking about has begun. Quite often I find myself thinking about and feeling sorry for that couple who have that premature baby and then I realise it’s us.

Mich and I have been overwhelmed by the flood of support we have received in the past weeks. I started trying to respond to the wave of emails but gave up after about forty so please forgive me if I am unable to respond to yours other than via these emails. There have been so many gestures of love. One of our friends has visited Sam (or rather looked at him through two sets of double glass windows at where she knows he is lying) every day except one so far. Another couple arrived to look after Matt on Saturday night, gave us an envelope chock full of money and then directed us to one of Cape Town’s best restaurants. Family have stepped in at a moment’s notice. There have been offers to clean our house, to share daycare, to pay our hospital bills. We have a fridge overflowing with cooked meals! Wonderful stories of hope. Sustained prayers. The list continues…To you all we owe much and hope and pray that our son’s life will suffice as a perpetual expression of our gratitude.

Our lives are far from normal at the moment and we are being as realistic as we can in trying to find a workable balance this week after the debilitating trauma of last week. Matt seems to be handling all the emotion well though physically, in sympathy with his brother, he was hit by a tummy bug yesterday.

Please continue to pray for Sam. For healing of the infection in his gut, for his gut to strengthen and start processing milk, for his lungs to strengthen to allow him to breath unassisted, for healing to a niggling open sore on his neck, that he would accept the machines and pipes in his body without too much sedation and for peace in his little mind and soul.

Please pray for peace for us too. Physical healing for Mich who has a pregnancy-related infection and is on antibiotics, her continued success with breastpumping and milk let down and lots of rest. For me as I get back into work. For us both as we continue to grieve not having the joy of a “normal” baby. Healing for Matt’s tummy and that he will continue to cope with the turmoil of playing second fiddle to a very demanding little boet.

We’ll do our best try to keep you informed of significant events as they unfold. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

With love

Terence